Joke of the day thread

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 10:10 am

letshavetea wrote:So Jesus, Moses, and this old man went golfing... and they went up to their first hole and Jesus goes first... He hits his ball too the right too far, and it was heading right twards the water-trap, and it went down to the water and just rolled right across the water and landed up on the green.

Then it was Moses'es turn... so he hit his ball and it went straight twards the same watertrap but when his got near the water the water parted and rolled across the bottom of the lake and landed up on the green closer to the hole than Jesus's ball was

So then it was the old man's turn to go... and when he hit the ball it went straight twards the watertrap too and it just went right in to the water. Moses looks at Jesus and is like "What was that?!" but then there was this frog who jumped out of the pond with the old man's golfball in his mouth and he started hoppin around when this huge bird picked up the frog. The bird carried the frog all the way to the green and the frog dropped the ball right in the hole.

Moses looks at Jesus again and says "I hate it when we play with your Dad"

That's funny

Actually, these are all funny!

Suicide_By_Spork · Post by **Suicide_By_Spork** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 11:27 am

I swear, this will ruin the good joke line... even though some people might not get this one

What does an old person smell like?

Depends...

just think about it

SoDeepPolaris · Post by **SoDeepPolaris** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:00 pm

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 4:44 pm

SoDeepPolaris wrote:What's more fun than spinning a dead baby at 200 mph on a clothesline?

highlight the answer: | stopping it with a shovel. |

I love dead baby jokes.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

letshavetea · Post by **letshavetea** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:07 pm

ugh... lets keep the jokes funny... but in a nice funny not just a bunch of dead baby jokes.... cause yea there are a million of em out there.....

Grubb · Post by **Grubb** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:32 pm

How about "Your Mama" jokes?

Your Mana's so fat that she was taken over by the malitia in a military coup, and declaired "The People's Republic of Your Mom!"

Post by **MonMotha** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:42 pm

So there's three friends out golfing: a priest, a doctor, and an engineer (you pick the discipline).

They're being held up by this group in front of them that's moving really slow, but the group won't let our three friends play through. So, they ask the manager if he can intervene.

The manager replies that it just wouldn't be appropriate to do that. See, this slow group of golfers are former firemen who went blind saving the country club's clubhouse from a big fire about 10 years back. So, they get to play for free whenever they want.

The priest is stirred and says "Oh, that's so sad, I'll be sure to keep them in my prayers."

The doctor says "Hum, I know an optometrist. I'll ask and see if I can do anything to help them with their eyesight."

The engineer is silent for a few moments then proclaims in a very matter-of-fact manner "Can't they just play at night?"

xK1 · Post by **xK1** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:53 pm

aspen wrote:
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

That's kinda tame compared to the one I was debating about posting. =P

CaseyDidder · Post by **CaseyDidder** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:07 pm

how long does it take to paint a house?

I donna, depends how hard the babies hit the wall.

OOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP (and not there necks)

ZING

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 3:44 pm

CaseyDidder wrote:how long does it take to paint a house?

I donna, depends how hard the babies hit the wall.

OOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP (and not there necks)

ZING

Dude...seriously, that isn't even funny.

BLIZZLE · Post by **BLIZZLE** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 4:42 pm

Well....alot (all) of my jokes are off colored in some sense or another so I was gonna stay quiet but after the bed baby jokes...

What do you call a gay guy in a wheel chair?

Rollaids

Original Sin · Post by **Original Sin** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 6:43 pm

Hey, I like dead baby jokes! I suppose that's because I love twisted humor, and hate babies.

Potter · Post by **Potter** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 7:15 pm

BLIZZLE wrote:Well....alot (all) of my jokes are off colored in some sense or another so I was gonna stay quiet but after the bed baby jokes...

What do you call a gay guy in a wheel chair?

Rollaids

UMM im gay and i lost my legs in ww 2 and i take very much offense to that. Im going to call my disability lawyer and sue your ass.

BLIZZLE · Post by **BLIZZLE** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 9:05 pm

So i'm guessing your main pickup line is "May I push in your stool?"

mexican ninja · Post by **mexican ninja** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:15 pm

For all you people that get "offended", don't bother reading.

Q:Whats red and crawls up a womens leg?

A:A homesick aborted fetus.

Pushing the envelope?