Joke of the day thread

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 10:25 am

mexican ninja wrote:For all you people that get "offended", don't bother reading.

Q:Whats red and crawls up a womens leg?

A:A homesick aborted fetus.

Pushing the envelope?

yup.

Original Sin · Post by **Original Sin** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 4:01 pm

Bah, you made threads about religion, sex and politics, but you get touchy on dead babies?

Mosh_Mosh_Revolution · Sun Feb 20, 2005 4:32 pm

Ahha. Hahahahaaaa.......

Dead babies.

Ah, well. Don't have any jokes. Just thought I'd support the dead baby jokes.

Maybe we can post them, just post them the way that SDP did with turning the answer white. Then if you don't want to know about the dead baby, you don't have to. Selective censoring, or something.

Original Sin · Post by **Original Sin** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 4:42 pm

Censorship? Proposterous. This is the intraweb!

SoDeepPolaris · Post by **SoDeepPolaris** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 5:13 pm

I got a joke along those lines...2 words too.

F*** censorship.

Get it?

andyisntemo · Post by **andyisntemo** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:26 pm

Amish Pick-up line:
"I know we're not allowed to use electricity, but you send a shock through my system"

Gah!

Mosh_Mosh_Revolution · Mon Feb 21, 2005 10:59 pm

XD

Andy, you gave me a much needed giggle.

Thank you. I'll have to find my Top 10 Ways to Tell Your Amish Teen is a Rebel list.

Ebola Gay · Post by **Ebola Gay** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:00 pm

andyisntemo wrote:Amish Pick-up line:
"I know we're not allowed to use electricity, but you send a shock through my system"

Gah!

Thank you, that is genius.

Since nobody's posted it yet...

2 muffins were in an oven, you know, baking an whatnot. One of the muffins is like "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Stupid, I know, but I love it.

BLIZZLE · Post by **BLIZZLE** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:36 pm

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Owls

Owls who?

Yes they do.

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 4:24 am

Original Sin wrote:Bah, you made threads about religion, sex and politics, but you get touchy on dead babies?

You better believe it!

I made those threads so that those topics were not brought up in any other thread that they don't belong in. Now, every controversial topic that anyone wants to talk about is quarantined in one of those threads. It's along the line of "organized chaos."

Dead baby jokes cross the line. To me, that's inhuman...and NOT FUNNY!

I'm not bashing you O.S., this is for everyone...

Damn.

LoveIsCaffeinated · Post by **LoveIsCaffeinated** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 4:44 pm

hey, i know i'm new, but i'm going to have to agree w/this aspen guy. they're SO SAD! and so SICK! *sniffles*

but i do have a great joke, even though it took everyone i told like three minutes to get it.

so there's this guy, and he joins the army. they're all about to go into battle against the germans so they all line up in a row as some people pass out weapons. they reach the end of the line, where the guy is standing, and *gasp* they're out of weapons. what to do? after much thought, the general hands him a broom and says, "just point this and say banga banga banga. and may God be with you."

so he goes into battle, the crap scared out of him, and there are the germans. he points the gun and wildly waves it around, yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA! and to his utter surprise, they're all dying! so he keeps banga-ing and all the germans there die except for one. he's slowly marching towards the man. the man points, desperately yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA but the man keeps marching, and as he slowly marches over the man he crushes him to death, saying "tanka, tanka, tanka."

~cecily

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 5:56 pm

LoveIsCaffeinated wrote:hey, i know i'm new, but i'm going to have to agree w/this aspen guy. they're SO SAD! and so SICK! *sniffles*

but i do have a great joke, even though it took everyone i told like three minutes to get it.

so there's this guy, and he joins the army. they're all about to go into battle against the germans so they all line up in a row as some people pass out weapons. they reach the end of the line, where the guy is standing, and *gasp* they're out of weapons. what to do? after much thought, the general hands him a broom and says, "just point this and say banga banga banga. and may God be with you."

so he goes into battle, the crap scared out of him, and there are the germans. he points the gun and wildly waves it around, yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA! and to his utter surprise, they're all dying! so he keeps banga-ing and all the germans there die except for one. he's slowly marching towards the man. the man points, desperately yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA but the man keeps marching, and as he slowly marches over the man he crushes him to death, saying "tanka, tanka, tanka."

~cecily

I like that one...and it didn't take 3 minutes to get it

Original Sin · Post by **Original Sin** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 6:07 pm

aspen wrote: Dead baby jokes cross the line. To me, that's inhuman...and NOT FUNNY!

.

Hey, I think they're funny! Besides, there's no point in getting upset over something that's meant as a joke. It's not like we're actually killing babies or anything.

aspen · Post by **aspen** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 6:22 pm

Original Sin wrote:
aspen wrote: Dead baby jokes cross the line. To me, that's inhuman...and NOT FUNNY!

.
Hey, I think they're funny! Besides, there's no point in getting upset over something that's meant as a joke. It's not like we're actually killing babies or anything.

Still NOT funny...

there's a line...and in my opinion...MY OPINION...dead baby jokes are wrong!

do what you like, but if they continue a lot of people, including myself, will stop reading this thread...

i'll say no more.

Post by **MonMotha** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 8:15 pm

So there's these three people in a car driving down a mountain: a mechanical engineer, an auto repair tech, and a computer help desk worker. They're going down the hill when suddenly the brakes fail. After careening down the hill for a few moments, the driver (auto repair tech) manages to get the car stopped just short of a large cliff.

Everyone gets out of the car. They're all a bit shaken, but unharmed.

Auto Repair Tech: "Wow, those brakes are faulty. I should replace them immediately."

Mech. Engineer: "Those brakes are poorly designed. Even the worst case failure mode shouldn't be that bad! I'll sit down some time and design some better brakes for this car."

Help Desk Worker: "Well, before we do anything, why don't we push the car up to the top of the hill and drive down it again to be sure there's actually a problem."