I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car."
A man is in a car crash, and loses his left hand.
The doctors make him a new animatronic hand
that responds to voice commands. He gets to
try it out and learn the various commands, but
during the teaching he has to go have a wee.
The man goes into the bathroom, and after
checking to make sure he is alone, begins to
instruct his hand.
'Okay hand, unzip my fly.'
The hand unzips him.
'Take it out.'
The hand readies his weapon to fire.
The man has his wee, and at the end he has
a drop of urine still on the end.
The man thinks for a moment, and then says:
'Okay hand, flick it off.'
The hand flicks the urine off and grants him
a quick moment of pleasure.
Once again checking to make sure he is alone,
the man then says:
'Okay hand, jerk it off.'
And the hand rips it clean off.
Horrified by what has just happened, the
man yells:
