IndyDDR.com

I cannot really give an example because I have apparently violated my self-set terms of talking about myself in an overtly-positive manner. My feelings and emotions, like anyone else's, are very difficult to explain and it is impossible for me to even be certain of the differences of thought process to other people. It could just be a sort of justification thing in either mine or other's minds. If my creative endeavors ever come to fruition hopefully people will see some insight into the way I think from there- but for now I am taking the tried and true autist approach of being mysssstteeerrrriousss and not properly elaborating on things I've said about myself. I'll also throw in a "I don't want to talk about my dark and traumatizing past" for good measure.

I guess if I must say something about myself (I suppose this holds true to everyone to some extent) my personality would be that of a blank slate were I to not otherwise study and emulate personalities of others. It sounds dark-ish, but most of my social actions are planned for me to experiment with how different people react because I initially didn't understand other people's thought processes at all. I've worked myself up to plenty of comfortable social states and don't go out of my way to hurt other people or anything, but I like to see what certain types of people do in different situations which makes me more colorful of a character to some people than to others. Again, don't take this the wrong way, I'm conscious of all of my actions and don't ever actually hurt anyone- I just often break some social norms for the sake of observation. (Now I'm trying to not sound like that disturbed, sex-depraved kid in the fedora, but whatever).

I can say I have never understood the concept of "sympathy" and actually feel irritated (not really offended- it is very difficult to actually offend me) when people try to sympathize things to me. I recognize my flaws and imperfections and when people try to justify them it sort of amplifies the troubles in my head. I much prefer what others consider as "insulting" because I can usually use it as leverage to improve myself and those around me. I know there's a difference between constructive criticism and the ad hominem approach. I feel most comfortable in an environment where people can say whatever they want to and nobody is offended by something inane about what they said whilst avoiding any points they were trying to make. I guess I'm the opposite of hypersensitive people and I sort of have a strong distaste for them, but I still attempt to understand them as much as I can. Ultimately I just don't like the way other people work, but I do my best to adapt to their mannerisms.

So basically I either do have a social disorder or my mind is being an egotist and trying to make me more specul than the other kids. But nobody really knows because I know how to act now and can be accepted into pretty much every group and buddy-buddy up with everyone. I have very few enemies among my peers anymore. Although, this also lead me to being the advice-kid for the drama bags. I'm actually amused that nobody has gotten mad at me because it seems like whenever a couple breaks up they both pour out to me and I try to stay neutral and neither party has ever gotten mad at me for helping the other or whatever.

I also have a habit of taking the opposite side of an argument whether I really agree with it or not which is probably why I defended autistic a couple posts ago. I can recognize with your interest as I have also taken an interest in autists and like some of the exaggerated-cases colorful artworks for some reason or another.

tl;dr: lol i dunno, babblebabblebabble im kool

You are Johnny 5 mixed with Batman.

I guess I'll never know what it's like to live with autism. I do the same thing in taking the opposite side in an argument. In fact, this whole thing came from a post about t-shirts at http://www.riptapparel.com. Autism Speaks is not well liked, and I'm having a hard time understanding why.

"People with autism need help with their disability. It can be a challenge living with Autism you know!"
"I feel ya, we're going to figure out how to cure it for future generations!"
"WTF NO DON'T FUCKING SPEAK FOR US"
"So you don't need help then?"
"We do too, GOD. We need to create awareness and opportunities."
"Yeah. We totally get that, but wouldn't finding a cure remove the need for any of this?"
"No it wouldn't, Hitler. Take your eugenics show elsewhere."
"...we just want to do research. Like with every other psychological curiosity, good or bad. Our findings can help everyone learn more about why autism is the way it is."
"STOP OPPRESSING ME!"

Obvious exaggerations above, but you get this gist.

I donated a money to Autism Speaks. The guy on the other end of the White Castle speaker told me to.

Edit: The more I read, the more angry people sound.

"Autism is not a disease. It is a neuroprofile. I have an IQ of 150. I've learned social skills to the point that I come off as "quirky" I would never have had problems if it weren't for the way others treated me. Autism Speaks promotes society's patronizing, discriminatory, and frankly hateful opinion of us."

"If anything NTs are never what they are. They are the trapped ones. They are mindless conformists. Why I'd curse myself by wanting to think like you is beyond any form of sanity."

NT is short for neurotypical. That would be the average person.

"For starters we are not seperated from our humanity. What you sordidly call Autism is our humanity. To call Autism a puzzle is to call us a puzzle, end of. To dare think we are some problem that needs to be solved is doubly insulting, a dreaded eugenicist belief."

Despite the extremely vocal opponents, the Wikipedia Prognosis is more grim.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism#Prognosis

For the lucky few that ended up with mild Asperger's, I can understand why this would be upsetting. For everyone else whose lives have been adversely affected, the choice seems obvious. Or maybe I'm autistic because I don't understand it.

wtf is this thread

Potter wrote:wtf is this thread

Fried Chicken.

Pokebis wrote:assburgers

Somehow, I don't think that's the proper spelling...

Aspergers.
I have trouble spelling it correctly and I was pretty sure people knew what I meant.

Pokebis I think you're just a weird 18 year old on the internet and once you starting going to college and drinking booze you'll become just a regular guy. You're going to the west coast to start a new life and you can redefine yourself however you'd like!

Whatever you do don't overtly talk about anime or ponies or Bemani or whatever. I like that shit too (minus the anime and ponies) but it's super super super niche and if you talk about it shortly after meeting someone new you're going to become that weird guy that likes anime. If someone else brings any of those topics up then by all means chat away but don't bring it up in casual conversation. I'm not saying you have to talk about manly mainstream shit or anything but if you want to develop a college experience where you're not shunned from people who don't dig on Japanese shit then don't bring it up until you really start to know people.

Looking back, when I was 18 I was weird as fuck. I mean, look at my first posts after indyDDR got reset! I tried to be all formal and come off as smart and all that typical "Oh God they're gonna judge me I gotta be as PC as possible" bullshit. That stuff doesn't matter and with time you'll gain confidence in yourself and you'll gain enough empathy to sort of steer your interactions with people in the "not awkward as fuck" direction. People aren't going to like you and that's awesome! Lots of people hate me on this messageboard! But it's okay because that's life, I don't like everyone and I don't expect people to like me; I know how I can rub people the wrong way but that's their problem. I'm comfortable with this because there are plenty of people in my life who do like me. Joining social groups like a frat helped me out with this and having to talk to people in my job helped me out significantly as well.

Pokebis you're on the right track. Don't fuck up. Maybe we'll get some dinner and a few drinks.

He's only 14. He can't drank.

Merk wrote:Words

You're forgetting that the internet is your only impression of me. Today I went to a friend's dorm warm at a church, talked to her family and friends, ate food, and shook hands.

...her brother did show me his Fluttershy live wallpaper, though.

Also, I'm going to Digipen. After going to the open house and observing Facebook I'm pretty much guaranteed a social alpha position among the Freshman. Like half of them are the greasy anime-nerd stereotypes. I'm pretty sure one of them posted they were hoping to finally get a relationship during their time at the college as well. I'll be venturing into the nerd kingdom, but only the serious and professional people make it out anyways, so hopefully I shall be among them.

Also, don't lie, we all know you and your waifu from that one shitty harem anime watch ponies all day.

I think you are confusing me with Riot which is a pretty common thing to do, actually.

Pokebis wrote:

Merk wrote:Words

You're forgetting that the internet is your only impression of me. Today I went to a friend's dorm warm at a church, talked to her family and friends, ate food, and shook hands.

...her brother did show me his Fluttershy live wallpaper, though.

Also, I'm going to Digipen. After going to the open house and observing Facebook I'm pretty much guaranteed a social alpha position among the Freshman. Like half of them are the greasy anime-nerd stereotypes. I'm pretty sure one of them posted they were hoping to finally get a relationship during their time at the college as well. I'll be venturing into the nerd kingdom, but only the serious and professional people make it out anyways, so hopefully I shall be among them.

Also, don't lie, we all know you and your waifu from that one shitty harem anime watch ponies all day.

What aspect of game creation do you want to get into/focus on?

Potter wrote:What aspect of game creation do you want to get into/focus on?

I'm going into their BSGD program which you can read about here.
It's the most well-rounded program they offer and I am hoping to get a better idea of what every role in game development involves. Part of the focus will be with personal projects with other students so I'm hoping to strengthen my leadership and management skills the most. I will also be focusing a lot, lot, lot on programming, math, and physics, but it's not completely focused on that like the RTIS (Real Time Interactive Simulation) degree. I will also be taking some art classes and hopefully I can learn to draw to at least a level that I can visually show character and area ideas to other people. My ultimate goal is to have my own small team and company so I'll personally be focusing on that a lot. Psychology, marketing, English, and other miscellaneous classes are involved. I don't have much room for electives, but I will pick them depending on the situation when the time arises (won't really get a choice until like the third year unless I stretch things out).

If I make it into the industry I will probably start as a programmer or a producer somewhere and hopefully gain a lot of contacts and a stable financial background. From there I'd try to personally move up my career towards my dreams. I'm also heavily leaning towards trying my hand in the mobile market as soon as possible since it's easy to do low-risk, low-budget projects quickly.

Good luck! That sounds like fun. And a lot of work.

I'd love to be really, really proefficient at level design, so I can just sit down every time I get a space in my head and physically model it. That's one of the only reasons I got into 3D modeling on the film side and gat damn is it the most time consuming thing ever

Just go all Final Fantasy XIII and make all your levels a giant series of corridors and get lots of money.

I actually liked the linearity in FF13. Like all the other JRPGs were pretty much the same except with an illusion of freedom. To me FF13 was just cutting the bullshit and wasting less of my time since I know each branch off the main path will be a treasure chest instead of me checking 8 different paths cautiously advancing too slowly to advance the story, but still scouting for items that will outdate themselves in the next dungeon.