Joke of the day thread

[Fluffyumpkins]

so there's this guy, and he joins the army. they're all about to go into battle against the germans so they all line up in a row as some people pass out weapons. they reach the end of the line, where the guy is standing, and *gasp* they're out of weapons. what to do? after much thought, the general hands him a broom and says, "just point this and say banga banga banga. and may God be with you."

so he goes into battle, the crap scared out of him, and there are the germans. he points the gun and wildly waves it around, yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA! and to his utter surprise, they're all dying! so he keeps banga-ing and all the germans there die except for one. he's slowly marching towards the man. the man points, desperately yelling BANGA BANGA BANGA but the man keeps marching, and as he slowly marches over the man he crushes him to death, saying "tanka, tanka, tanka."



I just don't get it...

explain?

[LoveIsCaffeinated]

the guy who crushed him was pretending he was a tank because the germans were out of tanks.

i can just see the dawn of understanding on your face. actually i don't know what your face looks like. so never mind.

[chocobojoe]

And nobody is going to adhere to a one joke/day quota so couldn't this thread be titled something more like "Joke of the moment" or "Funny jokes" or something? Sorry, I complain a lot

Hmm...not exactly. If everybody decides to have a joke of a day, then they post their joke that they chose, then it's a thread for everybody's seperate jokes of the day, instead of just one joke of the day for the entire forum.
Ah how I love rebuttles.

Sorry it took me so long to respond but I stopped reading this thread a long time ago because of disinterest. Then I got bored and noticed this. You did not make a rebuttle, you basically reiterated the same point I made. The thread is called "joke of the day" (singular) not "jokes of the day" (plural).

But anyway, here's a joke:

A baby seal walks into a club.

[Original Sin]

COAT!
::ahem::

I'll leave now.

[aspen]

do what you like, but if they continue a lot of people, including myself, will stop reading this thread...

For some reason this does not bother me at all.

Hey, why not start a thread called "Dead baby jokes...and the discussion of how wrong they are."

Hey, you know what they call a loser with no life who gets off on talking about dead babies?

mexican ninja

Seriously, when you grown a brain and balls, then maybe you can talk crap to me. But until then, you little waste of human existence, STFU!!!

Whats more disturbing than a pile of dead babies?

A pile of dead babies with a live one in the center.

Whats worse than that?

When it starts to eat its way out.

Whats worse than that?

When it goes back for seconds.

And as for you, you socially degraded pervert, well...no one likes you, so that's good enough for me.



It's people like the two of posting crappy jokes that are degrading the descent environment that this site forum has.
True, I created the thread on sex. I'm halfway temped to request Ho to remove it because of the crap people are talking about...going way to far and talking about stuff that is unnecessary. I now regret creating that thread. My apologies to those who read it and were sickened. I know I was, just like I am when I read jokes about dead babies.

You two are pathetic. I'm finished talking to you two, and reading this thread.

[Fagulous]

I was going to post a dead baby joke as a retort, but damn now I can't think of any.

EDIT: OOOO I've got one.

A Priest, a rabbit, and a dead baby walk into a bar.

You think one of them would have ducked.

[Original Sin]

God damnit people, their just fucking jokes. Don't take everything so seriously. There's plenty of stuff on the internet I don't like, but I ignore it. It's that simple.

I may like sick jokes, but I'm not posting them. There's plenty of jokes and comments on the forum I havn't liked, but I just move on. You can't expect people to change what they do just because you don't like it, when you could just as easily pass it by, especially when it's something as trivial as a joke.

[mexican ninja]

do what you like, but if they continue a lot of people, including myself, will stop reading this thread...

For some reason this does not bother me at all.

Hey, why not start a thread called "Dead baby jokes...and the discussion of how wrong they are."

Hey, you know what they call a loser with no life who gets off on talking about dead babies?

mexican ninja

Seriously, when you grown a brain and balls, then maybe you can talk crap to me. But until then, you little waste of human existence, STFU!!!

How can you grow a brain?

Go act all high and mighty somewhere else. I for one don't care, this being the internet and all. I'm frankly glad you're not reading this, because someone who can't take a joke shouldn't be posting in a thread about jokes.

Either way, I LOOOOOVE people who get all bent out of shape over little things. They are the best people in the world.

[Gumby]

So a priest, a pastor and a rabbi are out on a lake in a boat fishing. The priest looks down at his watch and says "oh dear, i just realized I'm late for a baptism!" he stands up and steps out of the boat and lightly walks across the top of the water to shore. The rabbi sees this and thinks to himself "wow that man must be very close with God to be able to do such a miraculous thing"

Not long after, the pastor realizes he was supposed to marry a couple that afternoon. He excuses himself and steps out of the boat and walks swiftly across the surface of the water. Again the rabbi is amazed with how close with God his colleague is. He continues to fish for a little bit before it hits him that he is late for a bat mitzvah. He is fairly comfortable with his own faith so he decides to also attempt the miracle he has just witnessed with the other two. He steps out of the boat and quickly sinks to the bottom of hte lake.

Back on shore the priest and the pastor, having witnessed the rabbi's drowning, look at each other and the pastor says "hey you think we should have told him where those stepping stones were?"

[dancing queen iu]

OMG OMG I GOTTA JOK

THIS WOMAN WALKS INTO A BAR...OUCH!!!!

[SoDeepPolaris]

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

There, it's in its own little white window so you don't have to see it.

[Gumby]

a dislexic guy walked into a bra...

[Original Sin]

Ooooooh, how'd you know?!

[Mosh_Mosh_Revolution]

Alright, Gumby, that was funny.
And I like SDP's way of going about sharing the DBJoke. I guess I'll have to grow a brain, because I think the DBJokes are amusing. I could live without the balls, though, aspen. Perhaps you would like some?


Alright, so a cowboy, a Frenchman, and a New Yorker are riding in a boat down the Amazon river. The boat hits a rock and sinks, so the three men gather a few of their belongings and swim to shore. They walk through the jungle for a while and then come upon a tribe of natives. They're quickly rushed to the center of the village, where they discover that outsiders are promptly slaughtered and their skins are used for the tribe's canoes. The cowboy, in a panic, pulls out his revolver and kills shoots himself in the head. The Frenchman, following in suit, draws his sword and slits his throat. The New Yorker takes out a fork and begins to stab himself repeatedly, screeching "Good luck making your fucking canoes now!!!!"

[Gumby]

Three men were sentenced to die on the guillotine: a warrior, a priest, and an engineer. The warrior was lead up to the stand and he requested to be executed face up because he wanted to meet death head on. They met his request and laid him down facing up and let the blade drop. But it stopped just inches above his head. They assumed that it must be the will of the gods that he live. so they let him go.

The priest also asked to be executed face up because he wanted to be facing God at the time of his punishment. Again they complied and again the blade stopped just inches from his head. Assuming it was the will of God, they let the priest go.

So the engineer followed suit and requested to be executed face up without really giving a reason. But as they're laying him down he says "hey guys do you realize the problem with this thing is the guide rope is getting caught on the blade on it's way down. This thing will never work if you don't fix that..."