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Post a story that begins with "So this one time"

Here I'll start:

So this one time, when I was at the grocery store, I was like, going through the checkout lane, and I sat down my shit on the conveyor belt, and the grocery girl just like stared at me and shit and I was like "um hi?" And then she finally started ringing me up and when she finally finished she was like "HI HOW ARE YOU!?" and I was like "um holy shit I'm... good?" and then she thought about that for like 15 seconds and then she was like "OH UR ASLEEP ITS OKAY!" and I was like "um... ok..." and then she bagged my milk and I made a break for it

So this one time I was at a grocery store, and I was paying the cashiers to fuck with people.

So this one time, when I was at the grocery store, I had to wait for some sleeping guy to quit hitting on the check out clerk so I could get my frozen pizza home.

So this one time, I was at the grocery store, and I saw a cashier come out of the closet behind fluffyumpkins and letshavetea gave the cashier $2

So this one time, I went to the grocery store and I bought a perishable food item.

So this one time, I almost broke my neck on an ATV, but not in the way you'd assume.

My friend Andy (neighbor) and I were driving his ATV in the snow, each taking turns on the sleds being pulled from behind. We both wore ATV helmets so we could swap off faster, and it might have helped in case of a full-on tree shot to the head. Surprisingly enough, it worked against me.

There were two sleds on one rope; the one closer to the ATV was a round disc, while the one in back was shaped like a bobsled and had two large hooks on the front for skis. Andy's sister had fallen from the back sled, but Andy kept me going while she caught up. As I'm riding on the first sled, I fell off in a curve. The second sled, still being drug, comes and hooks me under my full-face ATV helmet, and drags me BY THE NECK across his field.

Of course, Andy doesn't see me. So he accelerates.

I'm not sure when he looked back and saw me hanging from the "moto-nuse" but he must have been like before he put the thing in park.

Miraculously enough, I just had minor rub burns on my neck.

So this one time I used a system of networked computers and databases to relay information

First off, why does everything always have to be official? Was this post reviewed and approved by the Federal Ho Association? Oh wow, that sounded so bad....but I'll take it. Cuz it sounds "official."

But oh boy! It can be storiez tiemz now? Hoooray!

So this one time, at band camp....

JUST KIDDING! I never played in band.

So this one time...it was around Boy's Sectionals time for swimming and diving at my high school. It's tradition for the girls to sneak out the night before and TP all the guy's houses. We break up into groups and commit this heinous crime. So, we were TPing this one guy's house, and one of our fellow soldiers comes to us, cracking up. We were like, "What have you?" And she was like, "I just hit a bird with the toilet paper roll and made it retarded."

Oh yeah good times.

Yeah I couldn't think of anything better at the moment. I'm sure something will come to me later.

EPIK THREAD IZ EPIK LULZ

So this one time, I posted on the internet.

So this one time, i couldnt think of a story.

Pheonixguy wrote:So this one time, i couldnt think of a story.

TOTALLY BEEN THERE!

So, this one time...uh....Pheonixguy made a good point and I am now storyless for the moment.

So this one time I was buying a record and the cashier was like "oh do you have a record player?!"

mexican ninja wrote:So this one time I was buying a record and the cashier was like "oh do you have a record player?!"

You should have been like, "Oh...my bad. I thought it was a laserdisc."

So this one time, me and Potter were attempting to have sex, and he couldn't get it up

So this one time, this amazing restaurant named Chipotle decided to have a "FREE BURRITO FOR EVERYONE" day before their grand opening. Except for it was January Thirty-Fucking-First, and the temperature outside was about 5 degrees. And people flock to free food. So, long story short, my toes are basically dead. BUT DAMN WAS IT WORTH IT CHIPOTLE OWNS