Riot's first day of teaching thread

[chocobojoe]

Teach them about Twilight they will love you forever.

[Merk]

Riot I want you to write a Livejournal-esque post for each day at work. You have no idea how interesting it is to me to hear about your adventure into a serious full-time job where the well-being of many children is on the line.

[Riot]

It is very scary to teach because every kid has an array of diagnoses and there are IEPs and 504 plans that are basically legally binding accommodations you have to provide for that specific child (aka they must be given front row seating or you must make their parents sign their homework or whatever it might be on a case by case basis). If you don't do them you can get sued! Hooray!

The kids talk way too much because I am a pushover so I'ma have to scare em' straight!

[Merk]

I think you're going to have to make an example of one of your kids before they can respect you. You've gots to discipline the most prominent offender and everyone else will follow suit.

[Ho]

HUMAN SACRIFICE!

But are they really human yet at that age?

[Merk]

Abort my toddler!

[Potter]

Abort my toddler!

sounds like a great tv show

[MonMotha]

HUMAN SACRIFICE!

Dogs and cats living together...

MASS HYSTERIA!

At least that seems like it might describe middle school.

[Amp Divorax]

HUMAN SACRIFICE!

I approve of this idea!

[Merk]

Riot how has work been these past few days?

We want updates. I'm going to make this the second longest thread on this web forum.

[Riot]

Um, things are good? I talked to some of my talkative kids today about my competitive gaming history and they thought that was cool since everybody plays MW2 pretty much. They are writing essays in my remediation class and I said they can write about anything they really like, and a few are doing that game. Apparently they all cheat and stuff too, and have modded controllers and lag-switches that mess with people in the game. I don't remember being obsessed with cheating in videogames at that age, but hey we didn't have a ton of online games either. They all want my gamertag but I don't want to give it to them, mainly because I don't want to be invited to games every 10 minutes especially when I have only really been playing SSF4.

Otherwise, planning is the most stressful part, but hasn't been too bad lately. I've just gotta stretch myself and try to think of activities to do that fit with the Indiana Standards! Today they cut out ads in magazines and made collages because we are talking about gender roles/stereotypes in my Literacy class (which I've spun in a media literacy direction so far). The kids are pretty good, but man is spelling a problem. But it was like that for highschoolers when I taught there too...

YOUR vs. YOU'RE
TO vs TOO vs TWO
THERE vs THEIR vs THEY'RE

oh em gee

[Merk]

That's really fascinating actually! It's a damn shame that these kids are poor with homophones - that is shit that needs to be stressed in elementary school! Riot you need to stress the importance of playing games for serious and that you are a huge faggot if you cheat in games.

I cannot stress the use of the word "faggot" enough either. I'm pretty sure that fits in with the Indiana Standards since we hates them queermos.

[Riot]

Merkler you are going to be a great parent.

[Ho]

This whole exchange makes me want to be a kid again so I can be in Mr. Riot's class and go home to Daddy Merk.

[Amp Divorax]

This whole exchange makes me want to be a kid again so I can be in Mr. Riot's class and go home to Daddy Merk.

Well, you always said that you nevar wanted to grow up.